170-130=40

For perhaps the last year to 18 months I have gained weight. Well, at least in that amount of time it became noticeable. At the beginning when I began I probably didn't notice, or if I did, I denied it would continue. After all, my whole life I was called "skinny punk" by my stepdad, and in a more congenial manner was told I could "eat anything" and that I had a fast metabolism. In high school I averaged 130 pounds. It seemed that no matter what I shoved in my mouth that didn't change. Now at 27 (almost 28) I am almost 170 pounds (166 last time I was on a scale). That's 40 pounds extra. I may not want to be a "skinny punk" again, but I don't want to be chubby like I am. And I don't think I should wait until I am 300 pounds before I get up and try and solve the problem. 40 founds is going to suck to get off, but it is infinitely better than having to lose170 pounds.
I'll admit it. I'm afraid. I'm afraid of what people will say. I'm afraid of what they will think when they see me starting to exercise. Heck, I'm afraid of exercising. I've never really done it, so I'm not sure I know how to start on a program. Plus, I'm not sure it will work if I don't know how to do things correctly. I can't really ask for help since most health and athletic trainers need to be paid since it is their job. But I don't have a job or any money, so I can't do that.
What I do know is I have to do something! Yesterday I went to the Los Angeles Auto Show at the LA Convention Center. Walking around the show shouldn't have been very strenuous, the air conditioning was on, and it wasn't a hot day. Even Southern California cools down in December. But by 3:00 I was sweating and out of breath. I had a large breakfast with my dad, sister, and brother-in-law. At around 2:30 we stopped to have lunch before going to see more cars. I still wasn't very hungry, but I ordered a full meal and even tried to eat it. I ate about half of it, then felt like crap for about the next half hour. It went so far that I had to clamp my mouth shut so I didn't throw up, although I felt nauseous.
I went on Jillian Michael's website and took the free health assessment. I got some free tips, but, like other trainers, she needs to be paid as well. It isn't much, but it is more than I have right now. I did keep the email with the health link on it.
I need to reverse the last few decades of belief that I cant succeed in being healthy. I need myself to be my own incentive. I've thought, "Well if I had a girlfriend that I'd want to look good for, then I'd exercise." or, "If I had a job, then I could pay for help." It's true I should try and look my best, and a trainer or gym membership would help, but if I can't get off my behind by myself then nothing is going to work. After all I have known several attractive young women in the last 18 months and when I was in college there were free gyms at the University, so I can't use those excuses.
Now to figure out how to start and motivate myself. Anyone need an exercise buddy?