Allusions from TED

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/6DFm2H/www.ted.com/talks/al_seckel_says_our_brains_are_mis_wired.html

Allusions!

Bye Byu BYU-I, Hi Hi to ISU

I graduated from BYU-Idaho! That was about a month ago. I am still in Rexburg. I just can't leave Rexburg yet. Tear. BYU-Idaho was a great experience. I learned a lot. Of course this was the place where I discovered my LOVE for the Social Sciences. When I graduated from ESHS (El Segundo High School) I was sure I would become a vet. I love animals- cats, dogs, horses, . . . snakes et cetera. And I like macro-biology, and had read all of the James Herriot books, but I quickly decided that microbiology and the idea of memorizing anatomy was not my strong suit. I'll just have a dog as a pet, and leave the healing of said canine to someone else. Next in rapid succession went history and communications. I like studying history, but I got tired of getting asked, "What do you plan on doing with THAT!" (Hence the reason I never tried English-my favorite subject in public school.) Communications was a disaster because after a semester or two of that I didn't want to go to class anymore. Then Providence waltzed in and I took a sociology class. Now that is what I call fun. So I became a Sociology Major. The last two years since then have flown by. My favorite part was theory. I simply ate up everything I could learn about Conflict, Symbolic Interaction, Functionalism, Rational Choice Theory, Grand Theory, Marx (Yes the Communist, no I don't agree with everything he said.), Weber, Blumer, Durkheim, Mead etc.

BYU-Idaho's favorite subject is marriage. That is why one of its many nicknames is BYU-I Do. Although I am not married and didn't even attain the goal of getting a girlfriend before I graduated, I did start the process of dating here. The first couple times I called a girl up for a date I had to have a roommate standing there to make sure I didn't hang up the phone and hide. I think my saving grace was the unspoken rule that most of the female population of BYU-I will go on one date with a guy unless they are afraid for their personal safety. That made the process easier. I didn't get my head bitten off . . . not too many times at least. Now I can comfortably ask young ladies out on dates, and normal conversations are no problem. Don't worry, ladies of Pocatello, you'll have your chance.

I learned how to drive. I have a license and a car. I can also drive in snow. Imagine that. I'm originally from Los Angeles and I know how to comfortably drive in snow.

I like small towns with country surrounding them TONS more than the huge expanse called LA.

The Professors up here are the best! I love them! I will miss Rexburg!

But there is Pocatello in the Fall and I am excited to see what it has to offer.

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

The fun times of detox.

So I am on anti-depressants.
usually.
Right now I don't have any meds and no money to get more. So instead of being my normal, fake-happy, quiet person I am kind of . . . I don't know how to explain it. I actually swore at my roommate yesterday. I'm not so withdrawal-ly that I didn't apologize. But it still isn't my responsibility to answer your phone when your mother is calling. I don't care if you are on your computer doing homework.
Then of course there is the oh so fun experience of listening to "My Immortal" over and over.
and over . . .
Evanescence is a good band, but I really could do without the flashbacks. Goodbye Jenny. No, you don't have all of me anymore, whether I wanted to hold your hand through all of those years.
Some things are interesting to note though. Even without my pills I am not as miserable as I used to be. So that is good.

It's been a while

GRRRRR! Why are the 2 females that are easiest to talk to my roommates girlfriend and my other friend who has a boyfriend? Couldn't one that was available cause less of a hang up in the talking department? Ok, that is all.

Pour quoi moi?

I had an interview with my Bishop yesterday. In it he said that I should have a better opinion of myself and go out and date more. Which I guess is true. I should. But how much do I want it to work? If you asked I'd say "a lot." But I don't know if my heart is in it. If I can rise above the fear. I'm not the 6 foot football, prom king guy. And even if that isn't "all" that matters, it's what people pay attention to. I'll admit I fall into the trap as well. It's why when we have discussions on this Mummy always says something about blonde hair. That stuff is very distracting. But in my defense the 2 people I've liked the most had way more in common than gold colored hair follicles. I fell for their personalities just as hard as what they looked like.
What kind of push and faith is it going to take to lift me out of this? I usually keep my mouth shut on issues that involve dating. But I broke my first rule on that today at FHE. No, I didn't ask anyone out on a date. I learned THAT lesson about 2 years ago. I'm good thanks. But we were taking things away that didn't mean as much to us. There was "a beautiful spouse" and about 4 Gospel centered things. So obviously I said to take that one out of the running. All fine and good, but then stupidly, just like me, I added something about probably not getting one anyway so who cares. There was some kind of an uproar of "that's not true etc etc" That's a nice thought, but my "actual reality" versus the "virtual reality" put forward with a large stigma gap in my looking glass self says that it is true. My head knew that I shouldn't say it, but I almost felt like I was being influenced to say it. I'm so used to thinking that way over the last quarter century, I can't at this moment fathom that anyone else would think differently. Sure Bishop Byerly seems to think so, but he is a 40 something year old man, not an attractive young lady. At this point I don't know if the aforementioned outcry was sincere, but I can't really imagine it was. It is what you're supposed to say. And besides imagine what they'd think if I actually asked one of 'em out on a date. If that wasn't such a scary thought it would be an interesting experiment. Oh, God what do you want me to do, and how do you expect me to do it?

The Latin King Goonies vs. 33 Chilean Miners.

There is a lot that I could write about.In the last couple weeks there has been a rash of attacks on people including the mocking of a 7 year old by her neighbors because her dad didn't answer a text message about a party fast enough. Are these people adults? Are they people even? I'd call them animals, but I happen to like dogs, horses, snakes, elephants etc. The term that seems to fit most is slimy devils. Then off course there were the attacks on 3 gay men by a group teens claiming allegiance to the Latin King street gang. Now I do not agree with the practice of homosexuality at all. I'm not going to compromise on that. But nonetheless these people were kidnapped, beaten, sodomized, and basically tortured for hours. If all God asks you to do when you sin is repent fully then these supposed 'human beings' have no right to attack and almost kill innocent civilians no matter how much their lives are at odds with what is right. Because I have some differing opinions with people doesn't give me rights to antagonize them. Non-physical anger has never changed others minds for the better let alone a hours long torture. And the Latin Kings aren't known for their righteousness anyway- think drug dealing and drive-by shootings.
But the story that really caught my attention was the rescue of the 33 miners in Chile. They survived 69 days underground. Despite all the odds against them they made it. At a time when we could have started fighting, moaning, blaming others for their situation they came together and survived. Look at them! Their situation may have looked low, if not hopeless, much of the time. Now look at our lives here in the USA. With the economy and unemployment being at the lowest it has been in years