Writing prompt 3: Have you ever been depressed?

Yes. Off and on for years. I wrote this in my personal journal May 31. This is how a major depressive episode feels for me. I don't know what it is like for others:
I've been in a depressive episode this week. Those are hard because when they show up I slip into a destructive, unrighteous, isolated personality. I become a different person, one I'm not proud to be. When I am here I lose a large amount of ability to resist temptation. Out of it I can say, 'No, I don't want to do that,' but in a depressive cycle I seem to just give it all up. I feel like I can't get revelation on what to do in life because the still small voice doesn't like to shout through the fog. Even if I do ask for something and get a response, the response is so vague that it doesn't really get me anywhere. What good is some future mention of a wife or job if nothing is happening NOW? I don't want to read the scriptures since I feel more like Laman and Lemuel than the unattainability of Nephi, and there doesn't seem to be anything to compare to my life. All that put together doesn't equal a very enjoyable few days. Usually that is all the time I get pushed under for before I can, for some reason, claw my way back up for about another month to a month and a half. Then I go down again. I think I can breath again now, but this past week has been the worst in a while. The problem now is that even though I am not under for now, I feel bad about some of the indulging I did. I know it wasn't right. So even if I am no longer in that mood, I now feel like $#1% for what I did on a spiritual level. Depression may be unavoidable, but these actions while under the influence are, right? Even when I'm at the bottom I can still hear a tiny voice saying I shouldn't, but I end up picking up the pickax at rock bottom and starting to dig. All I can say now that I am back in the light of the sun is, "Please God, keep me up enough that I don't repeat this too many times so I slip beneath your reach."
I haven't been in a bad depression since then. I have had hard days, and even weekends when I feel angry, worthless, and any other bad emotion, but I haven't sunk too much since May.

Like most things in my life there are songs that echo how I feel while under:
3 Days Grace:
Animal I Have Become
Get Out Alive
Pain
3 Doors Down:
Away From The Sun
Breaking Benjamin:
Breath
Give Me A Sign
Lights Out
Evanescence:
Going Under
Lithium
Linkin Park:
One Step Closer
Staind:
Comfortably Numb
Epiphany
Outside